SEO Humor
Next Entries »You Too Can Recover From Page Wankerism
Wednesday, November 28th, 2007
This is for stihs and giggles thing only..
As a follow up to supaswags Sphinn of the Urban Dictionary’s definition of “Page Wanker“ (actual definiton by T3dd13) which reads:
“A person suffering from type of mania caused by an irrational obsession with Google PageRank, often expressed by increased talkativeness and a fixation on the green slider bar within the Google toolbar. The severity of PageWank becomes more prenounced as PageRank decreases. Sufferers (PageWankers) with a high PageRank 8-10 often show symtoms of euphoria (excessive happiness) and increased sex drive. As PageRank decreases sufferers may experience mood swings, irritability, anger, and increasing hostility towards the internet finally leading to depression and uncontrollable crying as PageRank reaches 0?
So I’ve devised a new 12 Step Program for Page Wankeraholics to assist in their recovery plan…
The 12 Steps of Page Wankeraholics Anonymous:
- We admitted we were powerless over our obsession with checking page rank and that our blogs had become unmanageable.
- Came to believe that a Google is a power greater than ourselves and refuses to restore us to sanity.
- Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of Google even though we don not understand it.
- Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of our blogs.
- Admitted to Sphinn, to our SEO consultants, and to another blogger the exact nature of our wrongs.
- Were entirely ready to learn SEO to remove all these defects of my blog.
12 Steps Of SEO Anonymous
Tuesday, November 27th, 20071-We admitted we were powerless over the length of time it takes for an Open Directory to allow our submissions and that Google had become unmanageable.
2-Came to believe that Google is greater than ourselves and doesn’t want us restored to sanity.
3-Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of Danny Sullivan.
4-Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of SMO.
5-Admitted to Sphinn, SEO Refugee and to another Search Engine Optimizer the exact nature of our wrongs.
6-Were entirely ready to have Marketing forums remove all these defects of character.
7-Humbly asked Google to tell us what we can and can’t do.
8-Made a list of all persons we provided paid links to, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9-Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except for the ones Google doesn’t know about yet.
10-Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly griped about it.
11-Sought through forums and blogs to improve our conscious contact with the experts as we understood them, asking only for knowledge of the truth for us and the power to carry that out.
12-Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to SEO Newbies, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Next Entries »