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Stop Selling and Start Giving
By Kimberly Bock | April 17, 2008
There is so much advice and how-to’s in the endless rivers of marketing terrain that make reference to the world of social media.
Oooh, social media, so mysterious and new..should i? Shouldn’t I?
We constantly read posts about
- How to drive your business to the top with social media strategies
- How to use social media to increase traffic and readership
- 10 ways to improve ROI with social media tactics
- What social media can do for ‘YOU’ (meaning ‘ME’, of course)
Without ever reading the content, I can almost narrow down the writers scope and main focus.
Marketing
Uh..hello?
Is it just me, or is there a “Social Media” piece that’s somehow being overlooked here?
Addressing the ’social’ in social media..
I too am navigating through the maze of suggestions given by the masses that promote social media endeavors.
There are posts that uncover the most powerful potentials of social media use. They manage to successfully dive into the wild blue abyss of the all feared, overlooked, and untapped level of social media that can only be GIVEN as opposed to sold:
- Friend Promotion - Step 3 of Authority Building by Jeff Quipp
- Social Media Friendship Bill of Rights (and other sticky wickets) by Marty Weintraub
- How To Get More Visitors For Your Blog Without Social Media Marketing by Tad (the sombrero wearing SEO 2.0)
- 21 Traffic Triggers for Social Media Marketing by Brian Clark
- Role Model 3.0 - Are You the Latest Generation? by Mark Dykeman
- You Are What You Share by Dawud Miracle who so beautifully states, “People don’t do business with businesses, they do business with people.” which led me here:
- Time To Throw Another Brand On The Fire by Scott Crawford who asks us to consider ourselves to be as campfires, stating, “The campfire attracts life because it sustains life.” (its a short but sweet post, do yourself a favor and read it) he also provides the link to this video, which is one hell of a statement.
Also not to be overlooked here is the receptiveness in the commentary that follows these posts.
Why are people responsive to such anti-market approaches?
Think about it. Every day, we are bombarded by marketer “MEisms”
We are swimming in an endless sea of it. <gulp><choke><gulp><drown>
Establishing authority is wonderful on many marketing levels, don’t get me wrong. Building and branding your presence is essential. But social media enters us into uncharted territory and requires building a connection on a level that, frankly, many marketers are unfamiliar with. I guess that kinda makes us all ‘newbies’ doesn’t it?
No biggy. We can all afford to learn, adjust and go with the flow if we are willing to do so. Hell, a child can do it. In fact, we can learn a thing or two from the mind of a child.
Social media seems to be evolving in a way that almost suggests that authority is established by humility, as opposed to ‘knowing it all’. A human level of interaction.
Of course this sounds ridiculous to the rigid business-like “Read me” post senders, but potential to expand a Facebook group, for example, may be to go trout slapping or sending me a photo of something funny or playful. Maybe even stop by to tell me you’d like to read more of my stuff, but have been too busy. It’s all good. We’re not idiots and we know how strenuous multiple interests can become.
If you don’t have time to stop by everyones wall to say hello..post it in your little group and send it to the masses that read your stuff for heaven sakes. We are human and like to be treated human. We are starved for it as a generation because there’s simply not enough of it.
Fellow marketers may not appreciate that angle as they still have yet to see the marketable attraction. Once again, stagnating in the old routine “pre-social media style”.
You get what you give in this arena of marketing. People have grown tired of hearing the same old ‘buy me’ crap.
My point is, if you want to be a social media marketer, stop selling and start giving.
Give me a reason to market you.
Topics: Social Media |
April 17th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
You make a good point. I was in a meeting 2 weeks ago where a boss said that we should start to do social media, and set a budget for social media buys. I told him I couldn’t “buy social media exposure” in a transactional way, that it required building a presence, a list of followers that listen to you because you don’t abuse them, etc. He asked if we couldn’t just buy some diggs. haha.
I have a theory that in the future we will all be affiliate marketers. Blogging on that soon.
Ryan Maule’s last blog post..Gradual Engagement - Hitting The Signup Wall
April 17th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Well said Kimberly … words to live by! Stop selling, and start giving! Amen!
April 17th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
[...] of Learning SEO Basics has made a great point with her post “Stop Selling and Start Giving“. She argues that the ever increasing plethora of social media products (those how-to’s [...]
April 17th, 2008 at 2:55 pm
Excellent post, Kimberly. I think it comes down to misunderstanding the media part of social media. In the advertising world, you buy the form of media most appropriate for your message. But that doesn’t work for social media because it’s more of a networking endeavor.
A business owner who steps into an off-line local networking event totally focused on making the next sale will fail. Whether social networking or physically networking, it’s all about getting to know people, building relationships, sharing helpful information, learning from others. If we remember that, sales will naturally follow because people prefer to buy from those they know and trust. But the event/social networking is NOT about the sale. Humility and authenticity are required.
Shari’s last blog post..Social Networking: What’s in it for the local business?
April 17th, 2008 at 6:14 pm
Thanks for the link and for the collective kick in the butt.
Mark Dykeman’s last blog post..Being a role model might not be much fun
April 17th, 2008 at 6:47 pm
Awesome article! There was a time when marketers got excited about automated mass-customization of messaging and sophisticated CRM systems; but what these things lack is the human touch. Social media offers that, and you’re right, many of us really are new to this arena…and some of us are intimidated, whether we admit it or not…I recently started working with a client who sells a specialized product (step-ladders for what you a may call a rather unconventional usage) to a very special niche audience, and I’m finding it hard to reach this audience through traditional means…so I’m going to use social media to reach my audience through community building - creating an audience of like-minded individuals with similar interests who would buy the product (i know they’re out there!)…i admit i’m scared - but i realize i have no choice…
April 17th, 2008 at 11:52 pm
Ryan: It’s going to be difficult getting the ’suits’ to see the necessity in social media being used in a people friendly way as opposed to previous ‘marketing’ standards. True, there are plenty of sources that will automate Diggs, and votes, but if found out (and someone very likely will) their reputation will be plundered. Are they willing to risk that?
Jeff: I have always had a tremendous respect for you and your writing. You have a ‘touchable’ presence even though we have never physically met. I feel the same for the others in your family of bloggers at Search Engine People. You have inspired me on many occasions. If anyone has known and applied the ‘give vs sell’ concept, it would be you and your team. Thank you.
Shari: You are yet another winner of the ‘give vs sell’ award for sure. You have also been a sincere presence that always sticks with me, even when we do not speak for some time as you are so busy. This is how giving relationships leave a lasting impression on the minds of followers in social media. If thought of from a marketing angle, this is equal to optimizing conversion potential is it not?
I may only differ with your delicate wording, “I think it comes down to MISUNDERSTANDING the media part of social media.” It’s my belief that there is not so much a ‘misunderstanding’ as there is a FEAR of exposing another, more anti-marketing side of themselves. A lot of marketers have established (and yes even branded) a certain rep for themselves (whether far be it from their actual nature or not..). Old school marketers are more likely to say, “I am ’such n such’, I don’t have to do these things. I have had no problems in marketing for 1,000 yrs!” But as time goes by, generations expand in desire. Social media is changing the way people interact with businesses and those who represent them. We are quickly becoming a generation of ‘give me something real or get out of my face’ types. Have you seen photos of some of the bloggers and social media soldiers lately? Tattoos, spiked hair, hard rockers, and otherwise fun-timers that have personalities for heaven sakes. Social media is what brings their traffic and conversions, not a starched collar or a ‘buy me’ banner. (this is also what I think Ryan’s point may be. Affiliate marketing is the next best thing for business, because when people drop by to have fun with you, they will be more likely to click on banners and ads and make the buy.)
Mark: From the beginning, you were there with me in support..along with Nick (quiddity), Shana, and others. You’ve had a lot going on recently and you seem to have kept that ‘collective’ mindset in the midst of it all. You also inspire me to believe in the power of relationship building in social media.
I was listening to a podcast by Peter Day (BBC Radio) about social networking. One of the persons he interviewed was none other than Kara Swisher (writer for the Wall Street Journal) She had a true lack of understanding of the benefits of relationship building as opposed to throwing her professionalism in everybody’s face in Facebook. She friended with over 3,000 people in a very short time (like a week or something, I don’t remember) but she griped about ‘poking’ and foolishness that goes on there. lol (podcast here: http://snurl.com/24swp) It’s a shame that she feels this way, because she had enough people that respected her, to really ‘reach out and touch somebody’.
LonelySands: I know who you are and I’m telling your mother! I’m not even going to say what your twisted lil’ mind is talking about when you say you are trying to offer step ladders for ‘unconventional usage’. If you weren’t my best offline friend, I’d never talk to you again!
(side note to public readers: this is an offline ongoing ‘gross-me-out’ joke between us. General public, please disregard)
Bill, tell him to stop messing with me!
I will agree with a statement that you made, I think marketers are “intimidated” by the thought of breaking free of their traditional mold, because it’s new terrain.
Everyone: LonelySands wishes he was a woman.
April 18th, 2008 at 2:38 am
I think Ryan’s comment captures the general attitude most marketers have towards social media. Marketers have always talked at customers, not with them.
I suspect a lot of marketers are probably scared of the prospect of having to win attention and respect via social media. It takes time, genuine human interaction and is difficult to scale. It’s so much easier just to buy their attention…
James Duthie’s last blog post..Guest blogging - A real life case study
April 18th, 2008 at 5:03 am
LonelySands, cut that out!
Wonderful post, Kimberly. The greatest opportunity that social media provides us with is the chance to build relationships with people. Thank you.
Bill’s last blog post..Associating Search Ads with Links Instead of Keywords
April 18th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
Very good post & interesting comments.
Some random thoughts on the discussed “Human Touch Capitalism”:
Isn’t it not just easier but also much more honest to acknowledge that every commercial enterprise buys people’s attention? If a company develops a “cool” wiki to attract traffic, they pay for developing this wiki and therefore buy people’s attention. If a company gets an SEO freelancer in to come up with a cutting edge viral campaign, they pay him/her and therefore buy people’s attention. If companies pay bloggers to spike their posts with paid links, they buy people’s attention. As soon as there is money involved, things drift towards the “dark side”. This goes from “Sorry, but I NEED to run TextLinkAds to pay for my hosting fees” to “Let’s buy 300 diggs on subvertandprofit!”
So what’s the “ethical stand”? Win people over by behaving all caring and human and non-commercial and real & sweet - and then when you have 2000 in your boat: bomb them with corporate shit??
I don’t think there is a middle ground. Either you’re in the corporate game or not. And if you are, you need to sell because if you don’t sell, you’re out of the game. And the competition in high.
I try to keep my work and private social stuff as far apart as possible. That’s the best way to do each as good as possible.
And for corporate companies it should read: Keep on selling but start giving NOW. To charities [and your underpaid employees!]. And if you want me to look at your advertising, at least make me laugh or think [or both].
Don’t we all sell ourself all the time? And what’s the real difference of The Man in a suit that wants you to look at this new toothpaste and the spiked haired tattooed blogger that wants you to look at his face on top of his latest blabla?
“Give me something REAL”??! Switch off the computer, go for a walk and watch the birds. Seriously.
Have a good weekend everybody. And see you back at work on Monday!!! ; )
supaswag’s last blog post..Give the finger to the dance-pop singer
April 18th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Bill: You’re welcome and thanks for spanking LonelySands!
Allowing people to see that you are a tangible, touchable resource, eliminating the gap that may have once been between you. which in essence, is more persuasive anyway.
LonleySands: Neener neener neener.
Supaswag: “isn’t it not just easier but also much more honest to acknowledge that every commercial enterprise buys people’s attention?” i never said they don’t. i suggest that they shouldn’t because people are tired of their ‘buy me’ crap, meaning that social media is about the social..not the marketing. i never said don’t allow marketing. i never even said that marketing isn’t a predominant factor here. i said to be sociable and build relationships outside of the ‘buy me’ MEisms.
April 21st, 2008 at 11:01 am
Kimberly: “Allowing people to see that you are a tangible, touchable resource, eliminating the gap that may have once been between you.” That’s what I call ‘Cuddle Capitalism’. “Don’t be a brand - Be a face!”, “Don’t talk - Listen!”, “Don’t spam - Socialize!”. All the same rubbish to me. “Buy this - Because you’ve seen the the spiky haircut of our in-house blogger & we are cool friends now.”
I’d rather follow: “Buy this - Because it’s good quality & great design.”
supaswag’s last blog post..Give the finger to the dance-pop singer
April 21st, 2008 at 11:17 am
supaswag: Uh..hello, but EVERYONE claims ” “Buy this - Because it’s good quality & great design.” ” What’s to set you apart from the masses? Approachability. That’s what.
May 15th, 2008 at 7:23 pm
[...] Is this the fault of those who expose you? Nah, it’s time to grow up and realize that in this day and age, social media has widened the expanse of ways to market, keep diaries, and express who we are as people. I’ve said it before, we want to see giving rather than selling. Giving in social media needs to entail something that people are craving. Something that we have been desperate for. Transparency as opposed to the same old marketing manipulative behaviors and personalities that is quickly becoming a thing of the past. “You get what you give in this arena of marketing.” [...]